That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i think my cat just said my name.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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