The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
are you so shy because you have an std?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
