Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
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