3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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