everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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