accomplished twins. life is a go
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
