you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
