You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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