He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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