At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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