You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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