What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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