He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
