Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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