Betty ford says i'm here all night
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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