Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
