There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
