I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
