And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
