why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
