Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
