i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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