Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
