I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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