I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
