Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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