I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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