I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
