There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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