Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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