dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
