im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize