Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
