Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Operation Purity has been aborted
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
