i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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