it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
