another moral hangover. fuck.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
