So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize