So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
