we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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