I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
