I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
