Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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