I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
