White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize