It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
