Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
