one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
