I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize