Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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