still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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