to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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