Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
