No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
