I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
