like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
